Scars upon flesh
Some old
Some new
Some forming
Memories
Of worse times
Locked away
Home
Alone
With only
Whiskey
And Vietnam soldier’s
Poetry
To keep depressive waves
At bay
Much the same
As these days
When memories flood
And the world
Falls apart
Bringing pain
And a drive
To be destructive
Again
– James Dubeau
Why do I do
What I do
To myself
Day after day
Week after week
Unsustainable
I know this
At some point
I’ll crash and burn
Sooner or later
Inevitable
I need to stop
Take a detour
From destructive paths
Before it’s too late
And I crash
And I burn
To nothing
But ashes
– James Dubeau
Belly rumbles
Mind wanders
Hungry
Distracted
But it is not time
Not yet
A schedule must be maintained
The
Preplanned
Schedule
Preplanned portions
Snacks and meals
An unfollowed timetable
In these strange days
And it shows
But should I care
My meandering mind
Says
No
– James Dubeau
Deep in my soul
Emotions emerge
Unfelt
For a decade’s time
Revenge
If only in my mind
Get back at those
Who inflicted me so
With simple actions
Build a better life
For myself
Let spite motivate
Creation
Completion
Improvement
Better choices
In who I am
And who I will be
– James Dubeau
For the first time
In nearly twenty years
A deed had been done
That hadn’t been done
In all that time
Shouldn’t have been done
Didn’t want to be done
Not then
Not now
Used to be
From misguided youth
Malevolent
Placating an aching soul
This time
Was to remember
Evoke
Emotions and sensations
The pain
The burning
The dripping essence
– James Dubeau
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