For the first time
In nearly twenty years
A deed had been done
That hadn’t been done
In all that time
Shouldn’t have been done
Didn’t want to be done
Not then
Not now
Used to be
From misguided youth
Malevolent
Placating an aching soul
This time
Was to remember
Evoke
Emotions and sensations
The pain
The burning
The dripping essence
– James Dubeau
Why is it
That I forget to do
That which I claim
To enjoy doing?
Why can’t I remember?
Why can’t I do it?
The days tick on past
But not one neuron fires
To remember
What I should do
What I want to do
What I need to do
– James Dubeau
I used to sit here
Around a year ago
Nearly every day
Laptop out
Listening to music
Record spinning
Or headphones in
Ignoring images
Flashing across the screen
In attempts to be
Productive
Happier times
And sad times
But now
Looking back
They were just
Times
Memories
That will fade
Forgotten
With time
– James Dubeau
Family traditions
Were begging to fade
From generation’s memories
No family to encourage
Annual reliving
Passing them on
To younger kin
Just need to do it
For myself
For my parents
For our memories
Take the time
Make the time
In life’s busy days
To ensure
The best parts of life
We had together
Our family’s traditions
Are remembered
For another year
Before ultimately
Fading
Away
– James Dubeau
Going through
Some old shit
Written long ago
Memories immemorial
Bubbled up
Intertwined with words
Upon the page
Thoughts
Feelings
Emotions
Had been rampaging through
My head
Dragged to the surface
By that little demon
Who resides
In the darkest recesses
Had emerged
When I last touched
These passages
And some of the fears
The demon surfaced
For my characters
About their future
Came true
For me
– James Dubeau
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