Sitting in the coffee shop
Early on Sunday morning
As I often do
Laptop open
Document ready
But my words
My words
They do not flow
I stare at the screen
Flashing cursor
Staring back at me
Judging me
My drive
My passion
Has left
Only emptiness
Remains
Unfulfilled void
Of sitting
And staring
At blank
Nothing
– James Dubeau
In the last week
Of the old year
I could’ve walked
Across the frozen lake
In the first few days
Of a new year
The lake returned
To summer form
Rippling waves
Under a crisp blue sky
Eventually
Winter will return
Freeze us out
Making life
A bit more miserable
But
For a few days
I can bask
Under warm enough rays
With lapping water
Across the lake
Bringing with it
New hopes and dreams
– James Dubeau
Motivation evaporated
Like morning dew
Under the desert sun
I was given hope
False hope?
For brighter future
Hope does not drive
To progress
I must be mad
Pissed off
Vengeful
A range of emotions
That had left
My soul
For now
– James Dubeau
There is something
Just out of reach
Always has been
Always will be
Nothing can be done
Except to sit
Stare out the window
Gray and white
Cold void
Encompasses me
My body
My mind
Self sabotaging?
Maybe
Or maybe
Just selective
Too selective
To ever find
What is out there
Just out of reach
– James Dubeau
Slept well last night
First time in weeks
That which had caused
Stress
Anxiety
Misery
Had come to an end
It was a sudden end
But not unexpected
Emotions had been caused
In those darkened days
By succumbing to simple
Thoughts
Feelings
Emotions
The removal of the cause
Coupled with acceptance
Returned sanity and sleep
– James Dubeau
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